#1: When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying "An Essay." #2: When she caught on fire nearby a lake, she called the fire department. #3: She drank a bottle of root beer and said, "This doesn't taste like beer, or roots." #4: She gave 200 dollars to a cashier for a small bag of chips and said, "Keep the change." #5: When she heard that 1 of the 3-porta potties, each next to each other, was out of order, she walked 10 miles to the ocean. #6: When she saw an old person she said, "At least I'm young." #7: When she was suing someone, she thought that she was killing herself because she was on the counter sues side. #8: When she realized someone in weaponry shed was attacking her, she called the police. #9: When she was dying her hair, she thought she would be bald and her hair would be on the floor without a pulse. #10: When she told this whole entire joke to her son, she realized she had low self-esteem.

A guy asks a young blonde woman he's just slept with, "Am I the first guy you ever made love to?" The blonde ashes out her cigarette and replies, "You might be. Your face looks familiar."

Two blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde said, "Let me look!" The first blonde handed her the compact. The second blonde looked in the mirror and said, "You dummy, it's me!

2 blondes are walking in the park and the 1st blonde says, "LOOK! Dead bird!" The 2nd blonde looks up into the sky and yells "Where?!"

A brunette was walking down the middle of the street, saying "34...34...34" over and over again. A blonde stopped her and asked why she was doing that. "Oh, it's great fun," replied the brunette. "You should try it". So the blonde walked down the street repeating "34...34...34..." when all of a sudden a car sped by and ran her over. The brunette then started walking down the road again, saying "35...35...35..."

There were three blondes in the forest and they saw some tracks. The first blonde said, "Look, bear tracks." The second blonde said, "No, stupid, those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are rabbit tracks." Then the train came and ran them all over.

Why did 3 blonds jump off the building? To see if their maxi-pads had wings!

This story is true. I heard my brother tell it to my cousins when we went out spotlighting. Well my brother and 2 of his friends were drunk. One of my brothers friends were so drunk he passed out. I forget what he landed on, but the power went out. The blond comes screaming "What's happening??!!" my brother and his other friend reply,"The house is falling down!!" So the blond runs to the door and pushes up on the doorway, and turns beet red. I don't know the erst of the story because my brother had just remembered I was in the car. He knew I would tell mom everything he said that was bad because I'm 12.

1 What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend? You get to park in handicapped zones. 2 What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A rebel without a clue. 3 Why did God give blondes 2% more brains than horses? So they don't crap on the street during parades!

Q: What do you call 4 blondes standing side-by-side? A: A wind tunnel.